I consider myself not an extrovert, but a super-hyper extrovert. During Covid I went a little Cuckoo. I couldn’t hang out with real friends, so I started talking to my imaginary celebrity friends. Some of my imaginary celebrity friends are in my Personal Pantheon. Within this Pantheon, Beyoncé is Queen.
People in olden times used to pray to royalty, right? Does this have something to do with why we separate Church and State?
Anyway, I am not beyond praying to pop stars. In fact, I am very PRO praying to pop stars. I’m very pro praying in general. When it comes to praying to pop stars, we must do so knowing that we are praying to our own imagined image of the pop star, not to the actual person, and we must realize they are not God, they are simply a musical manifestation of God’s glory. Then praying to pops stars seems perfectly reasonable to me.
Anyway, I got a Beyoncé devotional candle during Covid.
I lit the flame and asked the candle,
“Beyoncé, my Queen, what would you have me do?”
“Start a marching band and save the world,” said Beyoncé.
“Wow. That’s a very clear answer. And very quick.Thanks, Beyoncé candle,” I said in my imagination.
“You’re welcome,” she replied, her voice dripping like honey on velvet.
Yes, Beyoncé would suggest I start a marching band, that’s certainly what my inner Beyoncé wants me to do. Start a super sexy, powerful, woman-led marching band with lots of really over-the-top costumes and magnificent musicians brimming with derring-do who fight the evils of repression and sexism and solve global warming when they’re not knocking people’s socks off at their incredible live shows.
Ummm, so yeah. I burned through that candle sometime in 2020, and now I use it as a holder for really long dangly earrings.
ANYWAY ANYWAY
Fast forward to 2021. It is September, and I haven’t started my marching band yet, but I am at my college homecoming football game to be in the alumni marching band. You see, I love marching band– I marched for four years in college. I graduated in 2001, so playing at homecoming 2021 was the 20th anniversary of the year I graduated. I made the trip across the country to my alma mater to feel a sense of belonging that I had been missing since the pandemic began.
Beyoncé and I share a love of marching band, as is evidenced by that one movie I saw of hers where she’s forming then practicing with a back-up marching band for a big show of hers. That show they all put on was fucking amazing, and I’m sure this is why the candle gave me marching band advice.
So I’m in Revelli Hall, the band hall for the Michigan Marching Band, or the MMB. It is the first time I have been here in at least 18 years. I am FILLED TO THE BRIM with nostalgia. I’m looking into the room where they keep the stuffed wolverine, I’m greeting other alumni with nods and smiles, I’m walking down the hall with photos highlighting the greatest MMB moments over the years.
There’s the time in 2018 they made a dragon on the field for the Game of Thrones Show:
There’s the time in 2017 when they joined with the rival Michigan State Spartan marching band to form the shape of Michigan on the field:
There’s the time in 2014 when they did a light-up show:
And then, there she is. There is the time in 2013 when the MMB did a Beyoncé show and The Queen herself, though not present, gave an introduction:
In case you can’t read the photo, the text on the plaque says:
“Good evening, Michigan Stadium, the largest football crowd in the world! I’m sorry I can’t be there tonight, but the Michigan Marching Band has my back and is gonna give you a fantastic show. Go Blue!”
I saw the picture, I read the plaque.
She said “Go Blue!”
I thought to myself:
Wow. The Queen is already familiar with my favorite marching organization.
Starting my marching band and saving the world is going to be WAY easier than I thought.
Michelle Folk Johnson 