Creating Safer Training Spaces

I recently experienced a violation of my physical boundaries in a martial arts training space. The incident was gross and humiliating, and the resolution process has been challenging. But the event has shined a light on how important it is to actively create safe and respectful training spaces. This is especially true for women, gender minorities, and others who may experience discrimination in a martial arts setting.

I’m part of a group of martial arts teachers in Portland who are working to create safer spaces for marginalized groups in the martial arts. I believe that we can create more respectful spaces by setting clear expectations and communication protocols for students and teachers. I’m working on creating these protocols for my own teaching practice. Since martial arts often involves a lot of physical contact, I think it’s a good idea for all martial arts schools to have practices and protocols in place so that all students can train safely and respectfully.

Below are some questions I’m asking as I create my own class protocols. I welcome you to consider these questions for your own organization, and if you’re interested, I invite further conversation on these issues going forward.

Healthy Boundaries Practices:

  • What kind of contact can students expect in the school? (Full-body Jiu Jitsu contact, punches to the face, no contact, etc.)
  • What kind of contact is not OK? (Sexual contact, excessively forceful contact, contact made in anger or retaliation, unsafe contact, etc.)
  • What kind of speech can students expect in the school? 
  • What kind of speech is not OK? (i.e. discriminatory speech, sexual comments, etc.)
  • Are students expected to do exactly what the teacher says, or are they encouraged to speak up for themselves when a particular exercise makes them uncomfortable? 
  • What is the process for handling boundary violations? When a student or teacher’s boundaries are violated, who do they tell? Who will help them resolve the situation? How is the situation documented? What is the process for resolving the issue? How do we know when the issue is resolved?
  • Where are the Healthy Boundaries Practices posted? Are they made available to all students?
  • Even if contact is an accident, a report should be filed to look for patterns of unhealthy behavior

How do you create safe training spaces? Is there anything else we should consider in creating these spaces? I invite conversation, so feel free to email me if you have any thoughts or ideas. Thank you for reading!

Planning for Femm Fighting 2

Hi friends! Last week my friend Jaydra and I met to talk about our ongoing vision for Femm Fighting, the twice-yearly event we are creating for women and genderqueer martial artists in Portland, Oregon. Our next two event dates are Saturday, May 17th, and Saturday, October 4th, 2025. Both events will be held at Southwest Portland Martial Arts. Jaydra and I talked about our overall vision for the events moving forward, our values surrounding the event, and we made a preliminary schedule and To-Do list for May’s event. In the interest of transparency and sharing the planning process, I’m including what we talked about as a blog post. Enjoy!

Why Femm Fighting Exists

Femm Fighting is a one-day martial arts training opportunity for women, genderqueer folks, and others who may experience being a gender minority in the martial arts. The event is open to women and genderqueer folks of all martial arts styles and experience levels. Many of us have experienced gender-based discrimination and other forms of discrimination in the martial arts, and Femm Fighting exists as a safe space for us to learn, train, grow, share, and practice together.

Vision for Femm Fighting

The goal of Femm Fighting is to create community among women & genderqueer martial artists of all styles and backgrounds. We hope that people will enjoy the events and will make friends and connections that will support their training throughout the year. We would like to create a sustainable event that can grow as we move forward. We would like to increase the number of participants, keep participation costs low, and invite other teachers to share their practices so we have well-rounded and diverse martial offerings. We are also open to sharing the tasks of organizing the event with others in the future. So that the event stays true to its intentions, we have started creating a list of values that we hold dear in our training. We hope these values keep us on course and help our events flourish.

Our Values

  • Non-hierarchical skillshare & learning
  • Healthy mind/body/spirit practices
  • Gender Expansiveness
  • Liberation & change-making
  • Sharing tools to interrupt cycles of violence
  • Inclusion
  • Acknowledging Intersectionality
  • Multiculturalism
  • Self-expression & embodiment
  • Protecting ourselves and others
  • Anti-Oppression
  • Sustainable martial practice/longevity in the martial arts
  • Community-mindedness
  • Discussion & education
  • Individual voices & experiences are honored
  • Honest inquiry and compassionate listening
  • Fun & Joy

We noted in our conversation that we are often learning martial arts from cultures other than our own. We aim to be respectful to other cultures’ practices and traditions. We are also aware that tensions can arise in this area, and we will do our best to address these with listening and compassionate conversation.

TO DO List

  • Draft new flyer
  • Create new registration form
  • Email a Save-the-Date to prospective participants
  • Have planning Meeting with Teachers
  • Procure snacks
  • Promote the event
    • reach out to schools
    • post fliers
    • tell friends
    • promote on social media
  • Create a Day-Of Timeline

Femm Fighting 2 Plans

At our next event, we hope to function even more as a hub for connecting people to each other and to martial arts events in the area. We’re planning to invite participants to bring fliers or information about their own women & queer-friendly classes, events, or community resources. The discussion topic we’re floating for our next event is “How do we take our martial art into the world?”

We believe that the work of the martial artist is the work of standing up for ourselves and for others who may experience violence or discrimination. This work is deeply important, especially given the current political climate. We are committed to questioning and dismantling oppressive power structures, and fostering the growth of healthy, inclusive, functional communities.

We would like to make it clear that Femm Fighting is a stand-alone event, and there is no expectation for participants to sign up for anything else or buy anything. However, if a participant finds a teacher they like or learn about a class that they want to try, that’s great!

Jaydra and I led the classes at the last Femm Fighting, and this time we are excited to bring on two other teachers to share their wisdom and skills. We will share more info as planning for the event unfolds. Thank you for reading!

Plans & Intentions for 2025

Hello! Happy New Year! I like the fresh start of a new year, and I like to take the time to think about and plan what I’d like to bring into my life in the year ahead. So this post is simply some plans and intentions I have surrounding my martial arts practice in 2025.

My biggest goal this year is to continue to create safe and fun spaces for women and genderqueer folks to train in the martial arts. I would like grow the number of students in my Women’s+ class. I would also like to integrate my students into the larger martial community in the school where I teach. Currently my students are women, and all of the other adult students in the school are men. I’m carefully considering how I will start to mix the groups so that my students feel supported as women in martial arts. I’ve experienced many flavors of sexism as a woman martial artist, and I would like to do what I can to minimize sexist experiences for my students and create practices based on consent.

My #1 strategy for mixing populations is to start attending adult classes at the school myself. I currently have a plan to go to Monday night classes with my friend Shannon. I have good feelings about this– I think jumping into the student population myself will go a long way towards creating a more robust martial arts community at the school.

Besides Women’s+ class, I have a six-week kids workshop coming up in April, and two more Femm Fighting workshops happening in May and October. These classes will require thoughtful planning and prep. I’m hoping to prep well in advance so that the classes don’t sneak up on me (I’m constantly working through the desire to procrastinate.)

And then there’s my own practice and continuing education. I will continue my White Crane Silat practice with my teacher Sister Maggie, whom I train with over Zoom. I’m especially drawn to the snake style movements within that system, and am happy that we are moving into the Year of the Snake. I will also attend regular Mo Duk Pai and CrossFit classes here in Portland. Along with those practices, I’m hoping to travel to train this year. I’m dreaming of a possible field trip to Seven Star in Seattle, and possibly even a pilgrimage to Thousand Waves, the Karate and Self-Defense school in Chicago where I used to train.

For all of these practices, I’m starting to think about how I can incorporate seasonality into my practice. I would like to allow myself internal time to rest and plan in the winter, and external time to expand and celebrate in the summer. I’m planning to make myself a “wheel of the year” calendar to support a more seasonally-minded practice.

Along with all of these I will continue my casual practice with various friends, and will keep reaching out to possible new martial arts friends. I’m excited for some good, stable personal growth in the coming year.

My 2025 Martial Arts To-Do List

• Make and distribute a new Women’s+ class flyer

• Promote Women’s+ class (with help from my students and fellow teachers)

• Create a “wheel of the year” calendar, and use it to add a seasonal aspect to our martial arts practice

• Post on my blog once/month

• Share on Instagram about twice/week

• Update my CPR certification

• Update my PPS background check

• Plan for Femm Fighting Workshops

• Plan a trip to train at another school

• Build a kids class curriculum

• Create a pamphlet of my curriculum

• Create a Martial Artists Workbook pamphlet

• Continue working with a business consultant to add structure to my teaching practice

• Continue connecting with other women & genderqueer martial arts & self-defense teachers in my community

That’s it for now! Thank you for reading!

Femm Fighting Success!

On September 28th my buddy Jaydra Perfetti and I hosted Femm Fighting, a martial arts workshop for women & genderqueer martial artists. Our intention was to create community among those of us who may experience being gender minorities in the martial arts. The event was a lovely success: 15 of us gathered at Southwest Portland Martial Arts to train and play together. Attendees included teachers and practitioners of various martial arts, and even some brave folks who had never tried martial arts before. Some artists came from as far away as Seattle and Oakland to join us. We were so honored they made the trip!

While much of our time together was spent practicing, my favorite part of the day was the group discussion. Jaydra gave us a prompt, and we went around in a circle with our replies. I’d like to start this post by sharing a bit of what was said during our discussion:

First prompt: “What’s one challenge you face as a gender minority in a martial arts training space?”

Answers included: Fear, consent issues, not wanting to be triggered. Trouble feeling safe as a beginner. Managing men’s emotions. Feeling patronized. The feeling of not being taken seriously by men, or having to “prove ourselves” in male-dominated situations. People hitting us in retaliation during drills. Not feeling recognized for our skill level. Having our opportunities taken away or given to men. Getting told what to do by people who are junior to us.

Second prompt: “What would you like to see more of in your school?

Answers included: Acknowledging the emotional side of martial arts. Making things accessible for beginners, but still challenging and fierce. Playfulness. More 1on1 with other fem people. Sliding-scale inclusion. Guest instructors/workshops.Trauma-informed knowledge. Less hierarchy, more adaptation. Taking our social structures out into the world. Group open workout/conditioning opportunities. Meditation in tandem with practice.

Third prompt: “What do you love about your training?”

Answers included: Teaching and seeing students getting better. Crossover skills–when skills from one area of life are relevant to martial arts, and vice versa. Moments of relaxation. When the whole class is laughing and having fun together. Being in my body, feeling alive. Feeling like a badass. Playing games usually for kids in adult class. Watching the moment when someone “gets” something for the first time.

The discussion was eye-opening and healing. Many folks nodded in understanding as others shared how they’ve experienced gender discrimination as martial artists. We also laughed and nodded in understanding when we shared what we love about being martial artists. The discussion helped forge a deeper connection among us.

The rest of the day was dedicated to training together. Here’s the flyer with the schedule of events, and a little bit more about the workshop:

The event started with an air of excitement and warmth. We began with an opening circle where we shared our names, pronouns, and martial arts history. Many of us had never met each other before, but once we got into warm ups, we were laughing, making friends, and having fun.

After warm-ups, Jaydra led our “hitting stuff” class, and did a great job creating a format that we could adjust to our own ability levels.

We then moved on to some open mat training, where folks could spar, push hands, or roll together. This part of the afternoon went by too fast– many of us agreed that next time we’ll need to allow more time for open practice.

After the event, many of us stuck around to go get food cart dinner together. Having this casual time together post-training was delightful. We shared jokes and stories, talked more about our schools and lineage, and made plans for training together more in the future.

We are planning to make Femm Fighting a twice-yearly event in Portland. Our next event is tentatively scheduled for May 17, 2025. If you would like to attend, or if you have any questions, please send us a message at femmfighting@gmail.com.

We hope to train with you in the future!

November 6, 2024

Election results are in, and Trump has been elected president again. I thought I would want to stay in bed and cry all day today, but I don’t. I felt pulled to come to my corner coffee shop. I’m crying a little bit here, but not as much as I did yesterday before we knew the outcome.

Last time Trump was elected president it came as such a shock. In a different coffee shop on that morning, I cried with a bearded stranger. I felt helpless, weak, and scared.

Today, though, I feel a renewed sense of clarity. Our nation is not the place I hoped and dreamed it would be. I see that even more clearly today. For me, this election was about human rights, especially women’s rights. For others it was not. Other people don’t see it that way.

But this coffee shop is bustling and full of people who do see it that way. We’re here, talking to each other occasionally, but mostly sitting in our little bubbles and doing our work. I feel a warmth in our togetherness, an undercurrent of camaraderie. I am grateful that it is not pandemic times anymore, and that we can take comfort in our togetherness. I know the people around me share my values and beliefs– I hear them all around me talking about those values and beliefs.

So what do we do next? How do we move forward with a president we despise? A president who is a criminal, a bigot, and an abuser? Well, we’re Portlanders, and Portlanders will fight, I know that. We’ll keep standing up and shouting for what we believe in. We’ll keep speaking out.

As for me, I wondered how I would move forward, how I would be able to get out of bed this morning, how I would be able to stare down the barrel of four more years of a Trump presidency. The answer that came to me this morning and was very simple: write through it.

I will write through it. Make art. Use my voice. Do good work. Connect with others and deepen my commitment to my community and my country. I’ll keep going. We’ll keep going together.